How to Destroy Your Old Negative Thought Patterns

Copyright (c) 2010 Michael Harvey

Due to the fact you have got into the habit of thinking negatively, seeing things in a negative light and making negative assumptions about social situations the next step is to look for new information that contradicts your old beliefs. This will allow you to see the world how it really is and not how you have built it in your head.

You see when someone is socially fearful and worrying about what others think of them they tend to look out for and notice information that fits with this belief and ignores information that does not fit with this belief.

For example, let's say you were at a party and you felt that people thought you looked silly or didn't fit in. You might notice someone laughing and looking in your direction and this might reaffirm your belief. However you have ignored all the other people in the room who are not looking in your direction and laughing because it does not fit with your belief. Can you see how strange it is that you do that?

The easiest way to overcome this and open your eyes to what it is you are doing is to take notes at an event that you feel will make you feel socially fearful (let's say a party) that you feel people are evaluating you and judging you negatively. Write down your belief and how much you rate this belief as being true on a scale of 1-10. With 1 being you don't think it's true and 10 being you are absolutely certain it's true.

Next make a prediction of how you feel at the party. And finally fill in what actually happened and what you have learned that will allow you to rethink your original belief or assumption.

Belief-At the party people are going to laugh at me and wonder why I'm there. They will think I'm a loser. I stand out like a sore thumb. Belief scale (1-10) =

Before the party-Prediction, I'm going to feel anxious and self conscious. I'll probably go red and feel hot. I'' struggle for things to say to strangers. I won't be able to enjoy myself. People will see that I'm nervous and laugh at me. I will stick out like a sore thumb and people will think I'm crazy and steer clear of me.

After the party-Outcome, what actually happened? Did I feel a little anxious and did I go red and hot. But not as bad as I thought I would. I noticed some of the other people at the party were a little nervous and some blushed as well. There were some points when people struggled for things to say just like I did. Also I started to feel more confident as the party went on. So what are my conclusions? And how does it counter my original belief? What is my score?


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